NOT THERE…

I am not there

For anyone to remember.

I am not there

For anyone to care.

You can calculate well,

For you are so practical.

I am too impractical to calculate.

So I am not there.

What if I were there?

There would be so much trouble.

But I want trouble for no one.

So I better not be there.

I will drift away

And will not be there

In your practical world

Of your practical thoughts.

I will save you the trouble

And the thoughts and calculations,

And the responsibilities and expectations

By not being there.

There will be no one to intrude

And no one to bother

And no one to disturb and trouble,

If I am not there.

One less bell to answer,

One less call to take,

One less person to live,

If I am not there.

You will always be there

In your world of reality

And in my world of dreams.

But I will not be there…

THE TEDDY

It is your room:

A room full of many things.

And among so many things,

There is a teddy in the corner.

Your eyes miss it sometimes

Among so many other things.

But it looks at you always

With its still lifeless eyes.

With its arms extended

It sits still in the corner.

Alone it was destined to be

But it does not want to be.

It is easy to forget the teddy

Because it is always there

To comfort you and be with you

Even when you don’t expect.

Now the teddy is there no more

And the corner it sat is empty.

Do you miss the teddy now?

And try to find it where it sat?

Do you now want your teddy back?

And feel sad now its not there?

Why did you forget it then

When it was there in your room?

Isn’t it strange that now you remember it?

Now that it is not there.

But you used to forget it so easily

When it sat in the corner.

Your teddy will be there always

To love you and care for you,

To comfort you and die for you,

If you just keep him in your heart.

IT

It stays quiet

But its silence speaks.

And it lives on

But not like before.

It never leaves your side.

It loves you and it cares.

Because it lost you before

And wished to find you again.

But does its wish come true?

You can say best.

Because it never judged.

But you did.

It can give up the world.

It can give up its bread.

It can balance you against the world.

And you would still be heavier.

But ‘you’ are not ‘it’.

It had lost you forever.

But it didn’t give up.

May be it was wrong.

It is not a gift.

It is not what you wanted.

Ignore it and hurt it.

It stays quiet and numb.

May be it loses to Fate again.

May be it is cursed forever

Never to find you.

But it still tries and tries.

It was burned and bruised.

And battered by Fate.

It looked for someone.

And it was you.

But it was a different you.

That is what it thought.

You looked through it then.

So what stops you now?

Was it too much for you?

You never expected it.

It is your pillar, you say.

Then why do you break it?

You forget it.

But it never does.

It is just a child.

So it just cries.

It trusted you blindly

Because it was blind.

It still trusts you blindly.

Now that it is not.

And when it is gone,

Then you will feel for it.

What it had been

And what it had felt.

Is it a stranger?

But it sacrificed it.

It was not it for you.

But you were you for it.

MEASURE ME

Is it just a measure

That you weigh me with?

When the balance tilts

On the side opposite me.

Doesn’t the sky seem bluer

That someone has returned?

Returned just to leave again

Without fancies and fantasies.

Where is that void

For which I search?

Which I dread

But you don’t.

Can my love be measured?

Of course it can:

With material things

Like shining silver pieces.

Does green seem blue?

Of course it does:

For blue is the colour

That I live with.

Can my heart bleed?

Of course it can’t:

For it is drained

And has no blood left.

Can words be blank?

I can’t say that:

May be they don’t express.

Or can they even deceive?

Does the balance still tilt

To the side opposite me?

May be it does.

Because I am void.

And so is my heart.

But the pain is heavier

And the burden lighter.

For me – its all the same.

But do I not shout?

It can’t pierce the wall.

The other side you stay

And leave me to die.

BLUE HAZE

 

Over the roofs can you see

Where the white doves flee?

Where the long road ends?

And the girl still pretends?

 

Its just a passing phase

Rising up in blue haze.

Another known face

Blurred by blue haze.

 

So, do you know the way

Where broken dreams lay?

Where the bridge still stands?

And the girl understands?

 

I’m lost in a maze

Among walls of blue haze.

And whatever she says

Obscured by blue haze.

 

Scorched by the dream

Of moon’s last beam.

And broken by hope,

In light I grope.

 

To avoid her gaze

Lost in blue haze.

And to end those days

Living in blue haze.

THE PEARL

 

The sea stares at me

With all its raging turbulence,

The waves crashing mercilessly

On the rocks by the shore.

 

The water extends to eternity

And the storm is everywhere.

Not a speck of calmness

Disturbs the mighty waves.

 

The sea destroys everything

And the shore is left deserted.

It has not the power to create

Anything but pain and sorrow.

 

As I sit on the shore,

The waves washing my feet,

Suddenly something hits my toes

And I look down to see.

 

It is just an oyster shell

With its mouth shut tight.

I try to break it open

And it finally gives way.

 

As I look inside it,

A bright white pearl stares back.

It dazzles me with its beauty

And its glowing white purity.

 

Its serenity is a stark contrast

To the turbulent waters of the sea

It comforts me and gives me hope

And it changes my life forever.

 

I feel fortunate and blessed

For the gift the sea has given –

Something I had always wanted

But never expected – the Pearl.