DYING AGAIN

It’s a dark and foggy day
And I lose my way in darkness,
Groping for some light or a support,
For you have turned away from me.

I reach out for your hand
But you push my hand away
And withdraw yourself from me
And recoil at my touch with disgust.

I look at you, your eyes
For just a little glance at me,
But you look away from me
With irritation in your eyes.

My heart pines for a word –
Just a word from your lips,
But you remain silent and quiet
And thwart my thirsty soul.

I will suffer patiently
Until you look at me,
Until you hold my hand,
Until you speak a word.

It burns me like fire,
Pierces my heart like an arrow,
And pains me like a whiplash,
Leaving me to bleed and suffer.

Can I ever try to hold your hand again?
Can I ever look at you with expecting eyes?
Can my heart ever desire to hear you speak?
Can I ever be spontaneous again?

I cannot bear to feel the disgust,
The way you turn away from me,
The way you push me away from you,
For it is hard – hard to die again.